


Time Still Turns the Pages of the Book It's Burned

by idra



Series: 30 Days of Fic (June 2017) [29]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Song fic (sort of), but still character death, death not described, no, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 09:17:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11354442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Steve has a hard time with loved ones dying.





	Time Still Turns the Pages of the Book It's Burned

**Author's Note:**

> Day Twenty Nine - song (with [youtube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7ry4cx6HfY)) - So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold

Steve walks tall as he enters the cemetery, carrying his grandson in his arms as he leads the procession to the graveside. His eyes are red, swollen, and sore from the hours of crying he’d done the night before when he’d been alone. But now, with his five-year-old grandson in his arms, his ten year old granddaughter walking tall and strong beside him, he stays focused on them, on being strong for them. 

It’s only when they get to the grave and he sees the headstone in place that his façade breaks enough for a single tear to slide down his cheek. Even when he’d lost Peggy, then a few years later, Clint had been killed in action, then Natasha, the rest of the Avengers falling like dominoes after that, he hadn’t let himself cry. He hadn’t let himself break, because he’d had Tony by his side for all of it. There had been new Avengers who had come and gone and he and Tony had adopted a twelve-year-old boy, who have given them their granddaughter and grandson many years later. They’d had fights, he and Tony, but they’d always loved each other. 

Steve sets the boy down and watches as their grandchildren approach the headstone, laying flowers on it before they head back to their father. Dylan places his hand on Steve’s shoulder and says, “Dad, Max and Emma are tired. I’m gonna take ‘em back to the Tower. Will you come with?” 

Steve startles a little, looking at his son. “I’ll be back by night fall,” he says, glancing at his watch. They’d been standing by the graveside for two hours already, but Steve knows he can’t leave yet.

“Okay. He wouldn’t want you to grieve so hard, Dad.” 

Steve nods, inhaling deeply as he turns back to the gravestone. “I’ll be home by night fall. We can order food then.” 

“Okay, Dad.” Dylan squeezes his shoulder and Steve listens as their footsteps move away.

Finally, he’s alone and he drops to his knees, body shaking as he tries to contain his sobs, tears now streaming down his face. 

“You promised...” he gasps out. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me. How could you... I can’t do this without you, Tony. How am I supposed to go on without you?” 

He jolts back when he feels a hand on his back and he turns his head, looking at his best friend-- after Tony, that is. “Buck, I...”

Bucky looks at the gravestone and sighs. “Stevie, you’re going to go on, because he would’ve wanted it. You’ll grieve, and I know you, you’ll take it out on bad guys, but you’ll keep going. It doesn’t matter it better, but at least you know he died doing what was right. He died saving someone else’s life. It’s how he would’ve wanted it.” 

“I’ve lost so much already,” Steve says, voice breaking. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” 

“You can and you will.” Bucky gets to his feet and pulls Steve up with him. “Come on. You have a son waiting to see his Dad and two gorgeous grandkids waiting for grandpa.” 

Steve looks at Bucky and shakes his head. “I can’t right now, Buck. I love them, but I can’t.” 

“God damn it, Steve. They need you.” 

“What about me? What about what I need? I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, except for them and you. And the way things are going? Who knows how much longer you’ll all be there.” 

“Then you better fucking spend time with us while you have us, right?” Bucky shoves him. “Stop being an asshole and let your family comfort you. Besides you think Tony would want you alone? Crying on his headstone? Or do you think he’d want you to be with your son and grandbabies.” 

“What does it matter what he’d want? He’s dea... He’s gone.”

“Fine. I’m gonna laugh when you go and he kicks your ass outta heaven for being such a dick.” Bucky shrugs. “I’m going to go spend time with my nephew and great nephew and great niece. You stay here and grieve by yourself. Because that’s always such a brilliant fucking idea.” He starts to walk away, then turns back. “Steve, what should we put on your gravestone? When you ignore the fact that your kid and grandkids are waiting on you and go after the asshole who killed Tony and get yourself killed? ‘Here lies the dumbest motherfucker on earth’? Yeah. I like that.” 

Steve watches Bucky walk away and he turns back to look at Tony’s headstone, the etching of the Iron Man mask seeming to glare at him. He sighs, hating that Bucky knows him so well. He had fully planned on going after the man who’d killed Tony, regardless of the fact that he would probably get himself killed in the process. “Fucking Bucky.” He sighs again, rubbing a hand over his face. “I absolutely hate when he’s right.” He sits back down and stares at the flowers his grandchildren had left before he eventually gets up and, ducking into a local takeout spot and getting shawarma for the whole family, plus some extra in case other Avengers show up. He knows Bruce is supposed to be coming in any day now and he hopes he does show up, along with Thor. They’re the only ones who will get the shawarma. 

He heads back to the tower and up to the penthouse, wondering if he should move to one of the other apartments and let someone else have the penthouse. He glances around when he steps out of the elevator, smiling when he sees the new Avengers on the couch, curled up with each other. At least he knows they’ll never have the issues he did with the original team. They all get along, while Steve and the original team were just thrown together and expected to work. They had, after a while, but they’d never really gotten their shit together like this group. 

Steve looks over and spots Bucky talking to Dylan and he nods at his friend, setting the food on an end table as his grandson comes running for him. “Grandpa Steve!!” the little boy yells and Steve scoops him up, swinging him around. “Guess what!” 

“What, little man?” Steve asks, settling him on his hip. He picks up the food and heads to the counter, dropping the food off while Kevin babbles at him. He nods and tries to look suitably impressed, glancing at his granddaughter when Sheila moves up next to him and takes his free hand. She’s always been the quieter of the two, but since Tony’s death, she’d fallen into a deeper silence, only speaking when she needs to. Steve kicks himself mentally, realizing what Bucky had been getting at. It was hard enough on Sheila, especially, having lost her mom when Kevin was born, and then losing the one person who’d always been there for her. She might not recover if Steve did something stupid and got himself killed.

He slides his arm around her shoulders and holds her close, steering her towards the dinner table as the doors open. He smiles sadly when Bruce and Thor step off the elevator. He lets out a soft noise, realizing that no matter who he loses, he’ll have Bruce and Thor with him. They’ll be there, always, and most likely, so will Bucky. He just has to remember to live, not for Tony or himself, but for the rest of his family.

**Author's Note:**

> Character death is Tony, who dies during a fight against a bad guy. The death is not shown, only talked about.


End file.
